Am I doing enough? 

                     By  Julie Danielson

     I asked myself that question every day for an entire year.  It was a very difficult year and I would like to share a little of my story with you.

     In January of 2005, I had surgery on my thyroid to remove a lump. The biopsy was inconclusive, so we didn’t know it was cancer until the surgery. I went through radiation and several months of recovery.  In May of 2005, I had my gall-bladder removed and again had several months of recovery because the two operations were so close together.

     During this time, I was extremely guilt-ridden and stressed because I felt I wasn’t doing enough “schooling” with my two children. I would tell my husband how guilty I felt and he would reassure me that I just needed to get well and not to worry. This would relieve some guilt, but not all of it. 

     My two sons, who were both teenagers, were not doing much book work.  However, in retrospect, I realize they were leaning so much more in that time that was invaluable and much more life changing than any test book would ever be.

     The first thing they learned is compassion. My sons were so kind and would do things for me that they probably didn’t enjoy too much - like housework.  I would lie in bed and fret because I couldn’t help with housework, laundry or cooking.  However, they did it without complaint because of their love for me. 

     The second thing they learned was that life can throw curve balls at you and that you can’t let it get you down. You have to go on and do the best you can.

     During this time, they saw my husband and I leaning on the Lord like never before.  The Lord gave me strength and pa peace that I never thought would be possible. They learned that the Lord is, indeed, faithful and full of grace toward us in our struggles.  I saw my young men grow so much in their walk with the Lord and it continues to blossom every day.

     Am I doing enough?  No. Yes, they are doing their school work and we are back to a normal schedule. However, the thing that we know is, while we can’t do enough, the Lord is more than able to. He teaches us what is most important and gives us the grace to grow in faith. Most importantly, He is with us every step of the way caring for us in all aspects of our life.  That’s what I want my children to know.

     ©2006 Julie Danielson